Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Weekend Writing Warriors / 11/01/15


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.  
I am excited to share my snippet below (a total of 10 long sentences..)

Here is an excerpt from one of the short stories I'm writing:

"Still this explanation isn't going to buy you the attention you are craving right now in bed. Show you care about me during the day...in the thousands of interactions with other people, show ONE TIME you give a damn about me... one word, one smile, one eye contact, one hug, one conversation.... ANYTHING!! God damn it!!"

She continued, "You expect met to be a porn queen in bed and you think its my duty to serve your desires but when the rays of light set in, its back to your own morose self...you self indulgent beast!!
If you can be so considerate to just about anybody including your own family whom you have substituted for me, why can't you be protective and loving towards me?? Where's my time, our secrets, our conversations, our laughs? What a waste of time..." She sighed and turned her back at him as both lay beside each-other islands apart.

The long night ended like the previous ones and a splendid new day started as usual. This was their life..."

Thursday, October 8, 2015


Weekend Writing Warriors: For October 11, 2015

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, a weekly bloghop.  Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.  

I am excited to share my snippet below (a total of 10 long sentences..)


Nirashika took her two boys while her younger sister Ayaraa took her own daughter hurriedly. 

“We’ve got the special ladder and we know where the giant hollow tree is. We have everything we need. We should leave now!!” said Ayaraa with the map tucked under her left arm.

In the dark night the scattered fires in the forest and the villages beyond gave a faint yet constant orange glow like glowing coal in a fire pit.

“The terror shall begin at first light and last all day and night, ending only with the following dawn. Those hellish creatures will spread like plague over the villages and nothing will stop them. Nothing…” Nirashika looked fearfully at her sister. “I think they will sneak in before dawn and begin the onslaught of everything; a day that will seam no less than a year…”

That's it till next week...! You are welcome to critique the snippet from whatever angle you wish. 

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

You want me to want things..... And you want me to be content
You want me to be happy..... And you want me to be somber
You want me to be strong..... And you want me to be humble
You want me to dream..... And you want me to stay awake
You want me to laugh freely..... And you want me to hide my laugh
You want me to question things..... And you want me not to question everything
You want me to be constantly good..... And you want me to make mistakes
You want me to live life...... And you want me to meditate all day long
You want me to be respectful..... And you want me to be defensive
You want me to eat &drink..... And you want me not to eat &drink everything.
You want me to be peaceful inside..... And you want me to be fierce
You want me to be fearless..... And you want me to fear you
You want me to walk gently..... And you want me to run
You want me to face odds..... And you want me to think it’s a test
You want me to fight battles..... And you want me to think it could be a punishment
You want me to accept things..... And you want me to challenge them
You want me to wait..... And you want me jump ahead
You want me to cry..... And you want me not to despair
You want me to make choices.....And you want me to accept my fate.

So tell me O God What shall I do? 

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Be good but don't be content. The moment you become content; you freeze....You stay in a constant state because you are content.

Movement is Life. The moment you stop moving, you are dead. Remember it like a rule. Move and move ahead. On occasions if you must take a linear step to move ahead, take it; but move ahead not back.

Running waters stay fresh; flowing around small obstacles and carving its way into larger obstacles to continue streaming ahead....

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

a constant cloudy weather that brings no rain.........

I don’t know where to begin....but I’ve felt down recently, the high tides crashing into my resilient reef-like self. I feel like I’m chipping away under the pressure. No known cures or recipes of how to feel good are working religious and non-religious.  Just because things don’t go my way very often, upsets me. Wouldn’t it upset you? I’m not crazy nor am I demanding but for a change, I want things too.

Maybe I need to just let go of things; things that I can’t have...Sounds awesome...the problem is, when one bad thing occurs, it brings a deluge of memories and thoughts of all the negatives inside me and why I’m not good enough. Why is another person better than me and chosen over me? Where is God so that I can ask him and so that He can give me an answer right there and then explaining to me the equation He has for solving such complexities of life. Why am I always on the far other end, not reaching to that hand that generously gives out? Ahhh again, its me that is far away...

Am I to reach out, to search 
even when you are not beside me...
Am I to run, or walk?
Should I talk or ask or both,
Shall I stare or keep looking....
I’ve been stumbling along all my life 
feeling my way through darkness
tripping too much as I go 
being fooled by stints of light
that show me the way 
and then steal itself away
leaving me again to feel my way in darkness
stumbling along the way.

Do I fall? 
Yes I do...
Is it supposed to teach me something..?
Yes, it teaches me hurt and pain.
Do the thoughts go away?
Yes, from the front seat, they go to the hind
Are such passengers a burden?
Yes, all the time...
They have no destination and continue their ride...
There is no fare from such
I must continue to provide my energy
all the way, all the time...
Dismay adds new passengers to the overcrowded vehicle 
leaving me stumbling and walking barefoot in the darkness...
I’m promised some rest in the future
that too if I take the falls graciously...
And if I don’t, then I end up in perpetual misery
But if God is fair, then what about the falls I took already?




Friday, June 19, 2015

My Grandmother Bibi


My maternal grandmother passed away on 21st March, 2015. She was the last living grandparent I had. With her death the chapter of grandparents has come to an end for me.

She was regal, a woman with a voice and grace. As far back as my memory of her takes me, I remember how timid people were around her and how she was revered by the entire villagers. She ruled the house with fairness and did not let her disability impair her. Still young and married, while climbing a wooden ladder to fetch some flour out of the tall cupboard, she slipped and broke her right side femur bone in 3 different areas. The doctors felt helpless until my father who had just gone to the US recently, arranged for her to have a rod insertion for the femur fracture. The metal rod was flown from the US and in Peshawar she had the operation.  It wasn’t an ideal operation. She ended up with a shorter right leg due to which she had a limp for the rest of her life. This was back in the early 70s. She would custom make her shoes so that the cobbler would add an extra 2 inch to her right sole to ease the limp in her gait.

My grandmother was called Bibi by everyone. If someone would say or did something cruel or unfair, it would raise her flare to the heavens!! My grandfather was particularly fond of her as she was the eldest wife whose company he adored. My grandfather had married another much younger woman (permissible in the area) to produce more male offspring. My own grandmother had failed to provide more than one male offspring whilst in the area it was custom to have plenty of male offspring. But that didn’t diminish her worth or her rule. She was awarded the ‘rule’ of the house by default and my grandfather stayed with her, ate with her and shared the bedroom with her. He was hers completely. If it weren’t for social acceptability, he probably wouldn’t have given a damn about more male offspring and would’ve stayed married solely to her.

Bibi was a great giver. She offered material help as well as valuable insight to those that sought her advice. I remember how the ladies of the village would bring their disputes to her to solve. My fondest memory of her is when she would lay her cane by the bedside and limp all around our bed (each bed of the grand kids) tapping all over the quilt to figure out a ‘hole’ through which cold air could sneak in and make us cold. She would rearrange the quilt to  plug that cold hole and make sure none existed before going to her own bed. Then in the middle of the night, she would get up and check again. She would make sure we had good food every day. For breakfast,  if the hens hadn’t laid fresh eggs that day, she’d send people searching the entire village for fresh eggs so that we could have a good healthy start….She was so caring and so sweet. I had never experienced that kind of Love and will never be able to as she has passed away. I only have her fond memories, and I cherish every one moment I spent with her. I wish to emulate her when I grow old. I want to be a grandmother of her stature and dignity showering boundless love and grace upon my young ones….

Rest in peace dear Bibi….May you skip and hop freely in Heaven!!


P.S My obituary is months late because I have been missing her tremendously. I finally find the courage to write something…during Ramadan, the first one without her.....

Image source: abc.net.au

Thursday, April 23, 2015

To Read or to Watch?

        

I see an alarming rise in video broadcasting vs reading. News is now aired (live or taped) on the internet instead of typed so readers are not left much of a choice but to watch the news instead of reading it themselves.

When did this trend of visualizing news replace the ever appreciable written format of news? Some people want to just kick back and read the day’s headlines at their own pace instead of watching it read out by a pretty face on screen.

I remember there was a debate on whether kids should learn cursive hand writing at all as their future has no place for cursive handwriting. Kids nowadays are taught how to type as more of the homework finds its way online. Paper home-works are soon to become obsolete just like cursive handwriting. I was shocked when my kindergartner was told to take a test using the computer. I mustered courage and told the teacher that I am an old fashioned mom that limits computer-time so my little one will not have the same proficiency with the computers and the mouse compared to the other wiz-kids. She looked at me and then said not to worry as he’ll learn soon enough. And he did as all the school homework was given online.

I still try to limit my kids exposure but I wonder for how long can I succeed? I recall reading how Steve Jobs limited his children’s time with the iPad and other technology. After all, having a rich imagination is important and it should not be killed or wasted with toying around doing nothing…The whole world is changing whether we like it or not. I still want my kids to learn hand writing as I believe it’s a basic skill. I still want them to learn typing. I still want them to learn how to read instead of watch and listen to what is read to them.

In the process of creating ease and comfort, I hope the world doesn't kill itself. This all reminds me of the Disney animated movie Wall-e; how life on an outer space ship with all the comforts offered through automated systems made the people ‘morbidly obese’, unable to do the simplest of activities such as walking,  lazy, dumb and incapable of thinking on their own…. What a sad state of affairs we are all headed towards……………..

image source: trcb.com

Monday, February 2, 2015

                 

So I finally got a job and now I’m working full time. It’s a blessing to be a mother and a full time working employee. There were challenges in the sense that I had to juggle my schedule which consisted of grouping my daily chores that were otherwise spread out during the day. The change also included much participation from my partner in the household chores which he otherwise avoided or didn’t need to do since I was the one doing it.

My kids are happy since I had to bribe them with a monthly allowance deal. Actually I am also trying to teach them how to deal with money; the concept of saving for something they want, working together towards a common goal, anticipation of getting paid and spending etc. I hope this will train them to handle situations wisely in the future as well.

My last job which was seven years ago was chaotic. I had a tremendous work load and was poorly compensated. It was the main reason why I left the job and decided on raising my then newborn myself which eventually led to the unregrettable seven year job-hiatus caring for my growing family down the line. Sometimes out of the blue a reference to my past job will make me become aggravated over the fact that they had to hire three persons to handle my work load after I left!!

My present job is pleasant; nothing wild and unpredictable. I think I have also changed in a good way. Being blessed with a family brings out the best in people. My family has taught me so many things and has been so supportive. Even in the ‘I hate you and you’re the worst mom ever!’ I see accomplishment of doing the right thing for my kid.

I am at much more ease…..with myself. I am not dangling or hanging to a cliff anymore….