Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, a weekly bloghop. Each week, participants sign up HERE at wewriwa.com, then post 8 to 10 sentences of their work, published or unpublished, to go live between noon, Saturday, and 9:00 AM Sunday EST. Then we visit each other and read, comment, critique, encourage--all those things that do a solitary writer's heart good.
I am excited to share my snippet below (a total of 10 long sentences..)Here is an excerpt from one of the short stories I'm writing:
"Still this explanation isn't going to buy you the attention you are craving right now in bed. Show you care about me during the day...in the thousands of interactions with other people, show ONE TIME you give a damn about me... one word, one smile, one eye contact, one hug, one conversation.... ANYTHING!! God damn it!!"
She continued, "You expect met to be a porn queen in bed and you think its my duty to serve your desires but when the rays of light set in, its back to your own morose self...you self indulgent beast!!
If you can be so considerate to just about anybody including your own family whom you have substituted for me, why can't you be protective and loving towards me?? Where's my time, our secrets, our conversations, our laughs? What a waste of time..." She sighed and turned her back at him as both lay beside each-other islands apart.
The long night ended like the previous ones and a splendid new day started as usual. This was their life..."
I know for a fact that the thoughts of this conversation, if not the words, are played out countless times every day.
ReplyDeleteNicely done! Thanks for sharing.
(Look out for those ellipses(maybe use dashes instead?) they confuse the sentence count - I have fallen foul of that a few times myself.)
Not exactly a romance scene, but believable.
ReplyDeleteWow, quite the emotional moment you've shared here!
ReplyDeleteOh the poor dear. They don't sound a bit close.
ReplyDeleteWow, the pacing is incredible! I was riveted as I read it! Nicely done, Marjaan. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you all for visiting and commenting!!! It means a lot.
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