Monday, June 13, 2011

Little Secrets

We all by nature are curious beings; monsters feeding on information. The hunger for gossip and tales to pass the time is kneaded in our clay. We all chew on the bits of information we get from the media, neighbor or stranger we meet somewhere.
Every person tries to be discrete when it comes to oneself. Secrets are our necklaces that adorn our being and are rarely shared with all. But at times, the burden of these numerous necklaces strain our mental capacities. Thus varying degrees of secrets exists with everyone; not necessarily are they “skeletons in the closet” but some are just little and harmless secrets….all are used for our benefits.
The amount of secrecy one holds depends on ones sagacity and need; Secrets cease to be secrets once they are disclosed to someone. Yet again the few trusted people may continue to shield the secret; your secret. But honestly, where can you find such people? I am yet to see a person safeguard another’s secret. The best I see in people is the disclosure of a secret without assigning a name to it or making a disclaimer. Again a tactic of gossip….
As mentioned, all people with disregard to demographics, have secrets; some ugly, some harmless yet precious that remain a protective entity within ourselves. All secrets stem from certain insecurities we have. We experience something sour ourselves or witness a humiliating episode of another which exaggerates the need of more secrecy and privacy. Yet in the advances made in life towards modernism, secrecy and privacy have become extinct and the need of it has become a luxury not everyone can afford.
While we chat with friends and relatives who start divulging in the facts of a recent disclosure of events we wear a semblance of good nature and empathy while at the same time, avoid using ourselves as an example in a particular yet similar situation. So even though an experience within the same situation exists, we choose not to bring it up for fear that we may appear equally stupid or worthless or a failure as the person currently being discussed. Some wise people have found a way around it by using a third person approach, a detached view or indirect encounter to the core of the matter and it has worked.
Keeping secrets for a long time or for most of the time can drive one insane. Therefore a catharsis is necessary. But do it wisely. Choose your audience carefully. Only time tested people ranging from your parents, siblings to certain friends or people whom are trusted sources that are armor-tough against temptations to disclose your secrets or discuss you.
It has always been wise to discuss some things with someone you don’t come across often. Discuss something with ones that do not stand in your way in any regard or with someone not competing against you or with someone that is a perfect stranger and doesn’t know any of the characters you discuss but you. Such conversation will naturally go in your favor, which will make you feel good as you empty your load of secrets. Feeling good afterwards is important. After all your machinery needs the necessary amount of cooling to function normally till the next urgent episode of unloading secrets……


  1. Kudos Marjaan. Very well written. I'm so glad that I've reached the "golden" age wherein experience has taught me to keep my own counsel, I don't share anything if I don't want anyone to know, and recognize that most of what I hear is highly exaggerated or fabricated. The wisdom is in the silence and self-control.
    June 13, 2011 4:27 PM

  2. Thanks Dianna!! Your comments are always very generous!!
    June 14, 2011 9:49 AM